August.  It’s going by much too quickly for my liking.

The long weekend at the beginning of the month was spent camping with both of our parents.  The first meeting went extremely well.  Thankfully.  It was a relaxing time overall, although I did have a bout of “too much interaction, give me some space!” towards the end.

My parents spent the following week working around our house.  We are blessed.  My dad moved our laundry facilities from the main floor into the basement – so now I have space for drying racks and our unused deep freezer is a perfect space to fold.  My mom set up string for my sweet peas so they’re actually growing upright instead of spreading all over the ground.  They look much better.

I on the other hand have had a very lazy month.  Which is alright.  Productivity will have its turn soon enough.  Right now I am trying to cram for my final exam in my stats class which I write next week.  I’m looking forward to having another course completed.  Africa is quickly approaching as well, and I’m starting to worry about that a lot.  I definitely don’t feel prepared – physically, logistically, emotionally.

My views on blogging and social media and their role in my life have been changing a bit lately.  I’m letting go of expectations I put on myself – to post so many times a week, to always leave “meaningful” comments, to always be caught up and in the know.  The part that amuses me, is that I’ve started connecting with more people by doing this than when I was actively pursuing creating new relationships.  It’s funny how stuff works sometimes.  I wish I posted more frequently, and I still compile posts in my head, it just hasn’t been a priority getting them out there.  Which is okay.  I am learning that I go through cycles of motivation and passion.  Right now is a low point, and a high point is lurking just around the corner.

Today I went shopping to get some new pieces for my wardrobe.  Pieces that I would feel comfortable wearing to work as well as at home.  Tomorrow I will get my hair cut and colored.  And right now, I am going for a walk with my family.  Hope you had a fabulous weekend!

First off, I want to send out a HUGE thank you to all of you for your wonderful comments.  I promise I’ll give you a complete recap once I get my hands on the rest of the pictures.  Just don’t expect too much – our ceremony lasted under 5 minutes!!

If there is one memory that I want to bring back from our trip, it’s what Jason said to me when he got back to hotel after our ceremony “You look happy…I haven’t seen you like that in a while.”  Even as I went to brush it off, I recognized the significance.  Not just that I had been a mega pain before (when I get unhappy and/or stressed I get easily frustrated and annoyed, and Jason tends to get hit with it), but that I was truly, deeply, energetically happy.

Being in San Diego I was able to let go of all of my stress and just relax.  There was nothing I wanted more than to be present in the current moment.  I could spoil my senses with the sight, sound, smell, taste and feel of the ocean anytime I wanted.  And I did.  There’s just something about the ocean that calms me.  Most water features do to some extent, but nothing compares to the ocean.

Coming back home was especially hard knowing I’d be leaving that peaceful bliss.  As much as I’d love to say “stress, begone!” I know it’s not realistic.  I get stressed out over anything and everything.  But at least I came back armed with the knowledge that stress doesn’t have to rule my life.  Now I’m trying to change my approach.  Making an effort to say no more huge to do lists – instead limiting myself to a few items and recognizing that if they aren’t done today, everything will still be okay tomorrow.  Reminding myself to take deep breaths – and then actually taking them.  Telling Jason I love him – with intent.  Letting myself be less than perfect – and knowing that no who matters expects otherwise.

Nothing big will happen overnight.  Some days I struggle, some days this new method seems simple.  I can certainly say it’s working though.  I’ve felt the stress encroaching, and after a few moments I’ve been able to brush the worst of it off.  Moving forward, I know the most important thing is to remain flexible and adapt.

Just wanted to let you know (in case you haven’t heard already)…Jason and I eloped!

We were married on July 17, 2010 at Coronado beach in San Diego, California.  Very simple and completely perfect.  Mother Nature blessed us with a beautiful day, and we were able to snag a spot for the ceremony and pictures away from the other people on the beach.

This is just a preview from our photographer. I’ll post a link to the rest of the pictures once we get them (or you can keep an eye on Facebook since they’ll go up there as well).

Hello lovelies!

After just over a month away, I’ve decided I’ve had enough of that unplugging business. Sure there were some benefits (admittedly, much less than I had hoped), but I miss the interaction and writing. Now it’s time to get back into the swing of things. And I have to say, I’ve fallen out of the habit of setting time aside to blog, so it could be a bit rough until I figure that out again. But if you’re still with me at this point, I’m sure you’ll understand. :-)

In light of this, and since it’s been on my mind for a few months now, I did a redesign of my site.  So if you’re reading this elsewhere, if you have a moment click through and let me know what you think.  (You can be honest!) It’s nothing special or fancy.  And I still want to tweak it a bit – or get the other theme I really want set up.  But for the amount of time I spent (very little), it makes me happy.

Overall, I’d have to say June was a huge disappointment and essentially a waste of a month of my life.  Here’s what (didn’t) happen – and what this means going forward:

• Joy Equation: I got through six days of journal entries.  Sort of.  I fell off the wagon right from the get go, having to play catch-up within a couple of days.  It just continued to fall apart from there.  Eventually I just decided while I loved what I had done so far (I kept thinking about those prompts long after I wrote my entries), my mind obviously wasn’t focused enough.  Based on my experience, I know that I need to commit 100%, and I don’t think I can do that this summer.  Which means (sadly) that I’m going to postpone re-starting until after Africa.
• School: Didn’t happen. At all.  And this has essentially dictated my entire summer for me.  I extended the course deadline until September 30, which essentially means the end of August with my Africa trip.  I finally got around to scheduling my mid-term and final exams.  I sat down and looked at what needs to be completed so that I can write these exams with all the necessary knowledge. And folks, it’s going to be an extremely busy couple of months.  I’m going to do it, and I’m going to do it well (as much as I don’t want my marks to matter, it’s just something I just can’t let go).
• Exercise: June started off not so well on this front.  However, mid-June I signed up for an outdoor boot camp class with some friends from work.  It is one of the best decisions I have made.  I am 500 times more motivated to work out when there’s a social aspect involved.  And not just to work out, but to push myself to my limits as well.  It’s my competitive nature.  Already I’ve seen improvements in my strength and stamina.  The instructor is fabulous, and really mixes it up.  I’m already planning on doing 3-4 nights a week in the session which starts late July.  This is exactly what I need to get me in shape for Africa.
• Work: Nothing new on this front.  It’s a job.  I still go every week-day.  It still pays my bills.
• Emotionally: On the happiness/depression front, June was a huge set-back.  While I didn’t end up quite as bad as I was last fall, my thoughts certainly weren’t conducive to a positive lifestyle.  It was frustrating, and I definitely thought a lot about failure (with this, and other things).  Getting out of the rut has been a lot easier this time though.  It was just a matter of saying “I’ve had enough”, and slowly I started making the changes necessary to stop the constant negativity.  Obviously it’s going to be a continued battle, but I think my efforts this year are paying off.
• Pups: Dexter and Gizmo are still much too cute for their own good.  They still have trouble with the “heel” command, so I’m thinking we need to figure out a new approach for that.  We’ve discovered that Gizmo actually is anxious about traveling in the car, as we thought it was solely related to his motion sickness previously.  That and he doesn’t adapt well to new surroundings – like when we went camping or stayed in a hotel in Edmonton.  They got new beds and now rarely want to snuggle with us on our bed – both a blessing and a curse.  Kisses and snuggles are still plentiful the rest of the time though.
• Home Life: My parents came up for a week to help us paint.  They were amazing and finished the entire main floor, and both the guest room and office upstairs.  The new neutral colors look great, and give the whole house a new feeling.  Our lawn is looking rather sickly – covered in weeds and not growing a whole lot.  The lack of TLC from us probably doesn’t help.  I planted some sweetpeas and sunflowers in our backyard.  Only one sunflower seed has decided to sprout, and about a third of the sweetpea seeds.  But I’ll take what I can get.  Now I just need to remember to water them regularly.  I got a compost tumbler (it looks like a blue ball on a stand), and I’m trying my hand at that.  It’s been rather fun so far, and I keep looking at it every day to see if anything has happened.
• Blogging/Social Media: I didn’t find my unplugging as freeing as I had hoped, most likely because I often replaced my blogging time with watching tv.  Pathetic, I know.  I still read a lot of blogs, but didn’t comment.  In that aspect, I did rather enjoy it.  No pressures, no obligations.  Going forward, I plan to reorganize my Reader and not be afraid of the Mark as Read button.  I also intend to only comment when I have something to say – not to force it, or put any expectations on myself as to what a “good” comment is.  As for my own blogging, I’m still not exactly sure what direction I want this blog to go.  And I’m okay with that, there’s nothing wrong with a work in progress.  I’m also starting up another blog for more venting/ranting posts where I can get stuff off my mind without having to censor myself because of who might read it.  If you want more details let me know (and if you don’t, that’s okay too!).

In other news, today is Jason’s 27th birthday.  I was a bad fiance and didn’t make a fancy meal or even give him his present.  (In my defense, I left work at lunch because I wasn’t feeling well).  But I’m going to have to make it up to him later this week.

For now, I wish you all a wonderful July.  I can’t wait to catch up with all of you.  <3

Today on lamidge.com Brittney posted a heart-breaking story about a pug she fostered. If you have a moment to spare, please visit her siteto see pictures of this adorable and tenacious pup and read his story.